We're like a lot better than the average bears
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize