He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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