How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
