If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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