I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize