Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
