oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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