My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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