dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
