I am in a vortex of obligation.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
