the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
