I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
