Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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