I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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