Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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