Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
this beer tastes like vomit already
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
