i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think I died a long time ago.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
