bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
