Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
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He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
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Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
wow bdsm is so cute
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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