You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she told me i tasted like america
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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