"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
