I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
