At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
