Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
