Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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