Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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