Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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