i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize