What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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