wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
