She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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