If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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