If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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