Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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