i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
