glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
