3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
do herpes really smell.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
