I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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