His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
