I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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