my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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