apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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