Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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