he thought i was a dude.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
