Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
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Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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