Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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