Soap is not a condiment
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
