I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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