guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
God, I missed his penis.
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