i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
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The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
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Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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