I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
