he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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