i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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