Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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