I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
