Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
