How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
