Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
