"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
