OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
