i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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