this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
