My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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