Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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