Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
