I'm jealous of your bromance
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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