I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
