Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
